The Spiritual Grind

You Can’t Buy Happy, But You Can Build It

• Dr. Jenni and James • Season 2 • Episode 62

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A silent-upload snafu turned into the best question we’ve asked each other in a long time: are you as happy as you can be? That single prompt opened a wide path—past the quick highs of laughter and the chase for status—into the quieter, steadier ground of contentment that doesn’t need props to stand up.

We share the moment a homeless veteran refused cash because he was already content, and how that reworked our ideas about success, identity, and the “American Dream.” From there, we pull apart the sneaky ways we attach happiness to jobs, partners, money, and toys. You’ll hear the boat-that-didn’t-fit-the-lake story, the tool set with strings attached, and why “fake it till you make it” only works when you’re practicing a feeling, not performing a persona. We get practical too: three permission slips to rewrite (stop comparing, stop self-abuse, allow happiness), how to become your own best friend with daily letters, and a five-reasons test that exposes whether your joy is outsourced or self-sourced.

We also talk about partnership through a healthier lens: your person can enhance your life, but they can’t construct your core. When you build an inner baseline of okayness—calm, clear, self-respecting—everything changes. Toys become play, not proof. Careers become choices, not cages. The right people and opportunities start finding you, because contentment is magnetic in a noisy world.

Press play to rethink happiness from the inside out, try the exercises, and share your five reasons with us. If this conversation helped you, subscribe, leave a review, and pass it to a friend who’s ready to trade performance for peace.

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SPEAKER_02:

Good afternoon, everybody. Welcome back to the Spiritual Grand.

SPEAKER_03:

Wow, that threw me off.

SPEAKER_02:

That threw you off, didn't you?

SPEAKER_03:

Good morning.

SPEAKER_02:

It's still morning, actually. It's not afternoon yet. Gotcha.

SPEAKER_03:

You did. I'm like, oh my God. Do I say good morning? Do I say afternoon? Oh my god, my head.

SPEAKER_02:

What just happened? Did I warp into it?

SPEAKER_03:

I have a script that I follow. What's going on?

SPEAKER_02:

What's going on? Well, hey, this is everybody that listens for the uh August 5th podcast of the what was it called? Something of silence? Yeah. And there's no sound there. We got ya.

SPEAKER_03:

Gotcha.

SPEAKER_02:

No, it's a malfunction. We'll look at it and see what happened. I don't know what happened. Yeah. For some reason didn't upload.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, I'll look at it today. We was brought to our attention by one of our listeners. The funny thing is it's called the uh something of silence or something appreciating silence or the silence of being I think it's the sound of silence, actually. The sound of silence August 5th. And you turn it on and you get the intro music and then it's just dead silent.

SPEAKER_02:

But that's kind of crazy because it does have the 42 minutes on there.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. I don't even know what happened.

SPEAKER_02:

Because when I edit them, unless you muted it on accident, because you can mute that on accident.

SPEAKER_03:

No, but the thing is, is that whenever I edit them, I go ahead and I hit the play button so that I can make sure that I have content for that very purpose. So I test it out. And then once it's uploaded and I publish it, I'll go to my podcast app that is um the Amazon music. And I will double check it and listen to a few minutes of it to make sure I'm not missing anything in the editing part of it. Was that I know it was August?

SPEAKER_02:

When did when did our when did she stop doing him? Is that the one she I don't know?

SPEAKER_03:

No, I think that's one I think I was editing at that point.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay.

SPEAKER_03:

So at some point it met my criteria imbalances. So I don't know what happened, but I'm gonna go in today and see if I can re-upload it and uh it is. If I can't fix it, then I'll just have to take it down. But we know about it, and thank you, listeners, Danielle, for bringing it to our attention.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, I did notice that there was a comment on it too.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, really?

SPEAKER_02:

I don't know who it was from. Never seen him before.

SPEAKER_03:

What'd they say? The silence was great.

SPEAKER_02:

The silence was that was something like the sound of silence, ha ha.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, really?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, it's on a comment on the uh Spotify app.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh wow, that's incredibly funny.

SPEAKER_02:

That was that is pretty funny. And I don't I didn't recognize a name, it was like a D E something name. I don't know who it was.

SPEAKER_03:

Amazing. Thank you for the comments though, they're fun.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. You know, the today's topic is a pretty good one. Did you have one? I didn't even ask. Did you have a topic today?

SPEAKER_03:

No, I generally don't bring one unless it's uh because you said something this morning to me that rung my bell. Really? I didn't know. You did.

SPEAKER_02:

You did. Yeah. You do that quite often, you just don't realize it.

SPEAKER_03:

All right.

SPEAKER_02:

And you asked me, are you as happy as you can be?

SPEAKER_03:

Oh.

SPEAKER_02:

And and I was and so I sat there for a minute, I'm like, hmm. What a good question. Am I as happy as I can be?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, that was just me checking in with you. Am I doing everything I can possibly do to make your experience as a co-partner in life?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, no, I I appreciate the comment, and I challenge anybody out there to ask their partner you use happy as you can be, because it it made me think for a moment, and and it what it made me do was identify happy.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, very good, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And so, because that's a lot of the a lot of the times in our life we we get so caught up in the daily riff-raff and grind and and we confuse laughter for happy.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Because we, you know, we laugh and cut up a lot.

SPEAKER_03:

Right. Laughter is a byproduct of a situation that is not happy. Of a of a circumstance or event or uh uh experience.

SPEAKER_02:

Yes, it's a positive thing, 100% healing.

SPEAKER_03:

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02:

But yeah, laugh people confuse laughter and happy. So that's what I was working on today after you said that. I was like, huh. Because that's the first thing we do naturally, is we go back to those spots where we laugh. Like I thought about yesterday when we laughed out there, and this morning when we laughed, we were laughing, and and I was like, but that's not what's def defined happy. What does define happy?

SPEAKER_03:

That's right. So yeah, the definition of happy is different than the act of laughter which is action step.

SPEAKER_02:

Yes, or the act of happiness. Right. It's it's different as well. Right. And so when I was like in my shower today, I was like, dang, that really rung my bell. What is happy? How do I define happy in my life?

SPEAKER_03:

Oh. Nice.

SPEAKER_02:

And so I've been working through that, and I'm like, you know, I I am as happy as I can be. Because happiness doesn't come with parameters or boundaries. Happiness is an internal feeling.

SPEAKER_03:

Right. Yeah. It's not And happiness doesn't always have to be you're laughing your ass off and smiling and just be. You're just existing and be happy doing that.

SPEAKER_02:

Because sometimes the the lack of presence of something is just as calm as the abundance of something.

SPEAKER_03:

Right. And they both can create that uh happy inside of you, happy state of being.

SPEAKER_02:

Like that old cliche. You can't buy happiness.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And I 100% agree with that. You can't you can't buy it, you can't distribute it, you can't accept it, because happiness is an internal feeling.

SPEAKER_03:

That's right.

SPEAKER_02:

Now, are there things in your environment that you create, by the way, we do create our own environment.

SPEAKER_04:

Yep.

SPEAKER_02:

That can make you unhappy? 100%, which is what prompted you to ask the question. Because you're in my environment, you're in my world, and you wanted to know if there's it's not so much a you worried about what you can do to make me happy as I can be. It's you just want to make sure you're not doing something that causes unhappiness.

SPEAKER_03:

Right. I was asked from both angles. Yeah. You know me. I live life 360 degree. And so when I asked the question, um, I asked it from uh a place of are you as happy as you can be? And as your person, is there this is the open platform for you to tell me, uh, you know, you're you're doing this and I don't really care for it. Or could you do more of this? You know, we've talked about those things that um I particularly can speak for me. I sometimes forget to show my nurture, my love, my um, you know what? Hey fella, I I like you. I love you.

SPEAKER_02:

I think I'll keep you around.

SPEAKER_03:

Let me touch the back of your neck, let me touch your arm, let me grab your hand and hold it. Right. Let me pat you on the head. Let me uh those physical components that come with what I think in my head when I love you with my eyes, you know, just looking at you.

SPEAKER_02:

I am pretty sexy.

SPEAKER_03:

You are indeed. Yeah, pretty sexy. Um, I sometimes forget to translate those into physical touch.

SPEAKER_02:

Right.

SPEAKER_03:

Or even verbal.

SPEAKER_02:

Um excuse me. Oopsie. Was that your phone?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Uh-oh.

SPEAKER_03:

I'm in trouble. Where's the coin jar?

SPEAKER_02:

But what I what I really wanted to clarify and ask people out there, if you're listening, have you asked yourself what makes you happy?

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

I mean, because that's a big part of your reality. And here's the other side of that is understanding that what makes you happy, nobody else can give you.

SPEAKER_03:

That's right.

SPEAKER_02:

Nobody else can create it.

SPEAKER_03:

And nothing.

SPEAKER_02:

Nothing, right. You can go buy, like, I I promise you, I've had everything in the world I could possibly own. Well, there's a couple things I haven't owned. But I've owned a lot of things in my life. During the time that I owned all this stuff, I wasn't happy.

SPEAKER_04:

Right.

SPEAKER_02:

And then we go on later, like you and I, since we've been together, you know, like we just sold our jet skis and our Harley, and the people are like, why would you do that? Because I'm not attached to it. It's it doesn't create my happiness.

SPEAKER_03:

That's right.

SPEAKER_02:

What creates my happiness is inside of me.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, they're fun things at the time, but they're just toys that bring in fun moments. They're no different than uh, you know, going to town and having a movie and a bite to eat. It's a fun action that's fun to participate in. Oh my god, I'm sorry. There it is again.

SPEAKER_02:

You might want to turn that off. Otherwise, you're gonna have a lot of editing to do.

SPEAKER_06:

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02:

Why I say this is because it made me identify my happiness. What causes my happiness? Where in life do I create my happy? And what I come to the conclusion was is it's my own perception of myself that causes happiness.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Because, you know, I'm a I've always been a pretty confident guy. Some people would call me egotistical, which we've discussed on previous podcasts. Ego comes from the ability to create your own self-worth. But my happiness doesn't, it's not even revolved around that. Right. It's about me being okay with myself inside.

SPEAKER_03:

Yes.

SPEAKER_02:

No matter where you are.

SPEAKER_03:

That's right. Being quite content.

SPEAKER_02:

Which also feeds into a whole lot of other rabbit hole topics.

SPEAKER_03:

Indeed.

SPEAKER_02:

But I think there, you know, like like that time we were in California and we were it was Thanksgiving Day. And we walked, we were gonna go eat a Chinese buffet on Thanksgiving Day.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

We don't celebrate holidays now that the kids are all gone. But we we do, but we'll only with them if they're around. That's right. We were walking across the bridge and we're and we passed all these homeless people on Thanksgiving, and Jenny says, Why don't we stop and ATM and give them some money? And we did. We stopped, I don't even remember like 200 bucks or whatever.

SPEAKER_07:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

All in 20s. And we walked up to what, three or four people.

SPEAKER_03:

Right.

SPEAKER_02:

And nobody would take the money.

unknown:

I know.

SPEAKER_03:

It was quite bizarre.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, and that one guy, he was like, No, I I get my veteran's retirement pension, and I choose to be here because I'm happy.

SPEAKER_03:

That's right.

SPEAKER_02:

And I remember thinking to myself, how the hell can you be happy in this spot?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And because it's not about the external what you own or what people think of you. It's that's not what creates happy. It's an inner peace.

SPEAKER_03:

That's right. It's an inner It's not external.

SPEAKER_02:

Right. It's not an external, it's not externally dribbling, which is where what what did I just say? Dribbling? Golly, you're rubbing off on me.

SPEAKER_03:

That's a Jamesism.

SPEAKER_02:

Let's monetorize it. Uh anyway.

SPEAKER_03:

Yes, I can't cuss correctly, and now I can't seem to get the word monitorization to come out of my mouth correctly.

SPEAKER_02:

Uh we're talking about the app with the developers and we're in the monetization part of it, the the coding. And she always says monetization. And it's funny because it shows up like that on the the uh chat description as for, you know, because it records the chat for our Zoom calls. It's like uh it it spells it with a C2, it's funny.

SPEAKER_03:

Every time we talk to each other, there's words on the screen, like a closed caption kind of thing.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, it it records because I think it's on the Zoom call. But anyway, so the uh the the reality in that So what was that word supposed to be? Monetization.

SPEAKER_03:

No, the word you made up just now.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, I didn't even remember how it was. Oh, it was driven. There's supposed to have been driven.

SPEAKER_03:

And you were mixing it with Drivelin or something.

SPEAKER_02:

I don't even know what I said. Adrian? I don't even remember. But what it brought to my reality was is I was thinking about that this morning when I was thinking about what made me happy. And I because that that guy has always rung my bell. Yeah, I think about him a lot.

SPEAKER_04:

What guy?

SPEAKER_02:

The guy that we offered the money to, the veteran dude.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02:

That said, no, I have my military pension and blah, blah, blah. I choose to be this way because I'm happy.

SPEAKER_04:

Right. Okay.

SPEAKER_02:

And I was like, and so when I was in the shower this morning, I thought about that guy again because I think about him all the time.

SPEAKER_03:

Interesting.

SPEAKER_02:

I have m known multiple very wealthy people in my life, know him to this day, and I've known got to meet a homeless guy that has nothing.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And I will say that in this moment, that homeless guy that had nothing was happier than any wealthy person I've ever met.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Because most of it it's a persona, it's a it's fake. They put out fake happiness.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And and it's okay to fake it till you make it, because you know, we've talked about that in previous podcasts.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

But because it creates an energy. But when it when you're bringing it into your reality for a false purpose, not like I'm going to be happy until I become happy. That's not a false purpose. But when you're I'm going to be, I'm going to exude happiness because I want everybody to know I'm wealthy, you're doing it for the wrong reason.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, I want to say that there is definitely a trip-up point there when you fake it till you make it. And here's what it is. You fake it till you make it. What we mean by that is that you're practicing the physical facial expressions and the uh auditory laugh and chuckle to get your mind, body, and spirit in the habit of finding the happy frequency until you can find it inside of yourself. Right. Because if you walk around with a frown on your face and you're pissing and moaning, bitching about every little thing, that's a different energy frequency. That will be uh uh uh quite a bit of a challenge to find the pocket of happy inside of you if that's how you're moving about your work.

SPEAKER_02:

And you're creating that negative ripple.

SPEAKER_03:

So whenever I said fake it till you make it, by having more laughter, smiling, yes, that's a technique. In fact, this while you look for the vibrational frequency of the internal happiness, it's not a facade that you put on to make everybody and everything outside of you view you as a fake positive, I'm always happy fucking person. Yeah, there's a difference between that, agreed, and if you get trapped up in that mess, you will have a hard time finding happy because what you're doing is you're putting the fake facade on, but then you're not doing anything to actually figure out where your point of happy is in your heart center within your own body, outside of the things of situation, circumstances, people, or events.

SPEAKER_02:

Right. It's kind of like uh is any this I'm trying to think of a good example. Chipotle, when you walk in, they always say, Hey, welcome to Chipotle. Okay. It's it's forced. And we do that in we we are taught in society that people perceive us better when we're putting on that fake persona.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And so that's where a lot of the confusion for people come in as well, is they're taught by society that you own all this stuff and you're living the dream, you own the home and the house, and the car, and the boat, and a blah blah blah blah. You have five kids and two dogs and and a 30-year job with a penguin.

SPEAKER_03:

What the fuck do they have to be unhappy about? So then you say, Okay, well, let me pretend to be happy because the they feels like I'm supposed to be happy because I've got all these freaking things, right? And what right do I have to be unhappy when there's starving homeless people in the world?

SPEAKER_02:

That choose to be there.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. That's a totally different energy than just finding that.

SPEAKER_02:

Because that's the next step of this, is exactly right, is you have to create your own parameters for happy.

SPEAKER_06:

That's right.

SPEAKER_02:

Um, and it's because it comes from that internal feeling of, you know what, I'm okay where I am. That's where happy comes from. And having the self-confidence to know that you can take yourself wherever you want to go.

SPEAKER_03:

And you will always take yourself everywhere you go.

SPEAKER_02:

That's right. And you're taking yourself with you everywhere you go, but you can't do it.

SPEAKER_03:

Absolutely. Which is where the other um, I guess, mantra that I teach is that when it's okay to stay, it is okay to go. And what that basically means when it's okay to go, it's okay to stay.

SPEAKER_02:

That's right.

SPEAKER_03:

And essentially that means not the literal, okay, I'm okay living where I'm at, so then that means it's okay for me to pack up and now move somewhere else.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, that's not what it means.

SPEAKER_03:

It means I'm at peace. I am, I am, I'm at peace. Either way. I'm happy, I'm content. Yep. Either way. And it doesn't mean that I'm constantly running from the flame, chasing my tail, trying to fake something that's not there. I'm truly have found that happy spot, yeah, resonance within my internal being, and what that will do when you truly find it, it will eliminate so much baggage. Right. No longer can people get your goat.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes.

SPEAKER_03:

You won't be able, it'll be a very cold day in hell before anything anybody says will offend you, embarrass you, uh, anger you when you truly, truly find that happy, heartfelt place. And so all that stuff dissolves.

SPEAKER_02:

Like, and it brought up another thing, which is another good topic is I remember back in the day and I used to go around and ask my employees. I'd be like, Are you uh do you like your job? Do you love your job? And they would almost inevitably answer directly. Wait, I'm sorry, what? Inevitably. What? Inevitably, did I say it wrong? Inevitably, inevitably, inevitably. Anyway.

SPEAKER_03:

Somebody looked that up for us. Inevitably.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. Yeah, you didn't say it right either. So ha ha I did.

SPEAKER_03:

I was trying to overpronunciate it for you. Inevitably.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, that word. And so I'm not going to try it again. I tried a hundred times and I couldn't do it. It's like that word outside yesterday I couldn't say either. I'm like, what?

SPEAKER_03:

Just say it the wrong way one more time. In Spanish.

SPEAKER_02:

Inevitably.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, you said it right, you booty head.

SPEAKER_02:

And so, and when I would ask them, they would almost always respond, Yes, I love my job.

SPEAKER_03:

Of course. And then I'd say, Well, also standing in front of me.

SPEAKER_02:

Why do you love your job? And they would always say, you know, they would probably seven out of ten times, they would be, Well, I get uh you pay me, well, I get a good I get a paycheck and that makes me happy. So that's another thing that people do is they attach things to their happy.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02:

And it could be a person, place, a thing, any of that stuff. People do it. That's what happens with relationships.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Is when when one partner is putting all the weight of their happiness on the other partner and how they react, you're gonna fail every time.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And the same thing. Like, oh my god, I'll be so happy if I get that new Dodge Viper.

SPEAKER_03:

Right. Yeah. When you start attaching those strings to people, places, circumstances, events to create the happiness, that is a huge trip up because yeah, it may have a feel-good place temporarily, yeah, but it's not gonna last forever. That whole adage of the new car smell wears off.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

That's a thing.

SPEAKER_02:

You know, I remember back in the day too, I had a friend of mine that he had wanted this nice tool set he had been saving up his money for. And uh because he was a mechanic and that's what he did for a living. And for his anniversary, his wife bought that tool set for him. And it was sitting in the garage when we I actually took him home because we had gone to a football game, we were officiating football.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

I took him home and the garage opened, as he's standing there with a great big birthday car saying what it says happy birthday and the toolbox is there, and all the tools are in it. It was like a four thousand dollars of tools.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And uh and he said, Oh my god. And he and he was so happy. You know, and he got out of the truck and he ran over to it, and all of a sudden, it you know, we we went on about business. And the next the next time I seen him, I said, Well, how's that tool set going? And he's like, Good. I said, So why did your wife buy that for you? And she's and he said, Well, I assume because she knew I wanted it. And I said, Well, why did it make you so happy that she bought it for you? He couldn't define it. I said, Did it come with a honeydew list? And he's like, Did you help her? I'm like, help her do what? And he said, When I opened the top lit up, there was a honeydew list in the top of it.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh the stuff she wanted.

SPEAKER_03:

Ah, so it was uh his happiness of this moment was reflected, was clouded by this honeydew list because honey do list because it had strings attached. Right.

SPEAKER_02:

He's like, you know, it's kind of like a carpenter. You know, their house is never finished.

SPEAKER_03:

Right.

SPEAKER_02:

But you know, my wife's got problems with her car and she'd want me to fix it forever. And the first thing on the list was, here's happy birthday, fix my car.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And so I was like, So you attached your happiness to this tool set that somebody just yanked it right out from underneath you on a magic carpet ride.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And uh he said, No, I still love the tool set. I I understand, I've been neglecting it. But his it burst into his bubble because he's a head attached, because he I just watched him deflate in front of me.

SPEAKER_03:

And when he was opening it, you mean?

SPEAKER_02:

No, no, when we were the next time I saw you had that conversation with him. When I had that conversation with him.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, I see.

SPEAKER_02:

And uh and I was like, Well, you don't seem as happy about it now. You just got it a week about a week ago.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And he's like, Oh, I'm still happy with it. And it was completely different energy.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Because he had attached his happiness to this tool set.

SPEAKER_06:

That's right.

SPEAKER_02:

And and he should be happy the fact that he is okay with who he is and where he is. Not not about uh it's not about attaching it to dogs, pets, animals, friends, whatever, lovers. It doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_03:

I can only be happy if you're gonna love me forever and be around till the end of time.

SPEAKER_02:

We can blame romance for that.

SPEAKER_03:

I can only be happy if I have this thing right now.

SPEAKER_02:

Movie created romance is the world's worst thing for people's happiness.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Like like the what was that ghost movie when he the the I think it was called Ghost. Yeah, ghost, and he sits behind her and they're doing the clear part of it.

SPEAKER_03:

Patrick Swayze?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, or the one that says, Will you complete me? Yeah, whatever that is, you know, because the reality, if if somebody's completing you, you shouldn't be in that relationship in the first place.

SPEAKER_06:

That's right.

SPEAKER_02:

Because you need to be a complete project, not I mean complete package, not a project.

SPEAKER_03:

Yep. When you come into a relationship, it's called codependence.

SPEAKER_02:

That is correct.

SPEAKER_03:

And so when you go into a relationship for the whole purpose of expecting that human being to be the absolute core of your happiness, you're gonna find a trip-up point and you're gonna get disappointed quite often all along the way. Because that kind of happiness is poorly disdefined, first of all. Yes, and it is temporary.

SPEAKER_02:

Correct. Um and it doesn't create happiness.

SPEAKER_03:

It does not.

SPEAKER_02:

It what it does is a joyful moment.

SPEAKER_03:

That's right, it creates joy. It's an excited moment.

SPEAKER_02:

Yep.

SPEAKER_03:

Um, it can it can even be defined as a happy moment.

SPEAKER_01:

Right.

SPEAKER_03:

But that internal happiness that we're talking about, where you're just content and you're happy and and nothing gets to rattle that cage.

SPEAKER_02:

You're just good with who you are, what you are.

SPEAKER_03:

That's right. That's the kind of happy we're talking about.

SPEAKER_02:

And because so, like for more examples of that, is what I wanted the people to stop and listen to. Is first of all, you have to identify your happy and what it what inside of you makes you feel happy.

SPEAKER_03:

Right, stripping away all that other nonsense.

SPEAKER_02:

Right, pull away all the attachments.

SPEAKER_03:

All that went away.

SPEAKER_02:

If I only had my dream job.

unknown:

Right.

SPEAKER_02:

If I only had a million dollars, if I only had blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, I'll be happy.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, and the proof is in the pudding.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

So if you stop and look at yourself, everybody that's listening, and here's this if you stop and look at yourself, ask yourself when the happiest moment of your life was. And it had nothing to do with money. It had it when you were the happiest, when you could feel internal happiness and you can remember it, it had nothing to do with money, had nothing to do with relationship, had nothing to do with what you own, had nothing to do with what friend you had, it had to do with the entire total package. Because you're okay with where you are, what you are, and how you created it.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And like I I have another prime example that came into my head this morning, too. Perfect. Of the perfect job scenario.

SPEAKER_04:

Okay.

SPEAKER_02:

And I had a friend of mine that I officiated with for many years. He was my white hat for years and years and years on our college team. He was the referee, he was the guy in charge of the crew.

SPEAKER_03:

And he's called a white hat.

SPEAKER_02:

White hat. Yeah, the guy with the white hat on the field. There's only one of them in college football. He's the boss.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay. All right.

SPEAKER_02:

And uh he chooses the crew and all that stuff.

SPEAKER_04:

Okay.

SPEAKER_02:

And uh, I had been his head linesman for I don't know, five years, six years. And he was he told me that, oh my gosh, I I have had this dream of having this job forever. He was going to be a partner in a law firm because he was an attorney.

SPEAKER_04:

Gotcha. Okay.

SPEAKER_02:

And and uh he's always wanted to be a partner in the law for a law firm. And one of their competitors and him were talking at the time.

SPEAKER_03:

Competitor, what do you mean?

SPEAKER_02:

One of the he he worked for a firm and then one of the competitor firms had reached out to him about going to work for them.

SPEAKER_06:

I see.

SPEAKER_02:

And he said the only way I would do that is for a partnership, yada yada yada.

SPEAKER_06:

I understand.

SPEAKER_02:

And so it goes out throughout the course of the season or whatever, and and uh we meet on a Friday or on a Thursday for practice for uh uh mechanics training. And this would have been probably three or four weeks, and I said, Well, how's the job going? He said, Oh my god, I landed the perfect day. It's I got the job. He's so excited about it, right? And I asked him, I said, Well, do you get the partnership? No. So why are you so where's your happiness coming from? Because you didn't that's why you were looking to move and but you didn't do a partnership. Why would you even move? I said, So where's the real happy coming from? He's like, Man, I don't have anywhere near as much work. So there we go.

SPEAKER_04:

Right.

SPEAKER_02:

You're okay with that, not because of the partnership. Your perfect job was not in the partnership.

SPEAKER_04:

Right.

SPEAKER_02:

Your perfect job was having less responsibility and making more money.

SPEAKER_04:

That's right.

SPEAKER_02:

And so you gotta identify those things inside of you, what makes you happy.

SPEAKER_04:

Right.

SPEAKER_02:

And then that's where another thing that popped in my head because I rem I can go through my life and identify times in my life where I've done the same thing. Where I in, you know, I'm I'm like the boat story, the fifty three foot cigarette boat that I bought. You know. Right. Yeah, anyway.

SPEAKER_03:

It's a funny story. This big giant boat on this tiny

SPEAKER_02:

There was this certain lake and certain people I hung around with all the time. And I I went to buy, I was like, you know what, I'm gonna buy a boat. And so I found this nice boat in Boat Trader magazine. This was back, you know, the internet was there, but nobody was using it for that stuff yet.

SPEAKER_04:

Right.

SPEAKER_02:

And I found a boat and I called the brokers and my brother the broker, the banker and the broker made the deal, yada yada yada. Not knowing that I had to ship this boat.

SPEAKER_03:

But and it was sight unseen, right?

SPEAKER_02:

I saw the pictures.

SPEAKER_03:

And the boat trader magazine. And the boat trader magazine. Okay, gotcha.

SPEAKER_02:

And didn't even think about the size of it. Didn't think about any of that. All I know is the banker called and said, hey, this just cost you$23,000 or$24,000 to ship that boat. What?$24,000 to ship it, but what did I pay for this boat? Because my banker and the broker made the deal, not me.

SPEAKER_04:

Right, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And all I had to do was sign papers, which I hadn't even signed yet because I didn't have the boat yet.

SPEAKER_04:

Right.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, anyway, I won't tell you what I paid for it because it's stupid. It was a stupid amount of money. Anyway, so the boat gets to where we are, and I put it in the lake. And this book is boat is so big and so fast that I can never get it up to speed in the in the lake. And it's just this awkward eyesore. It was a beautiful boat. But it was this awkward eyesore in the middle of the lake. Like all these other boats would pull up beside it, and it just trumps everything. Because it was so big, it had three V8 motors in it.

unknown:

Right.

SPEAKER_02:

And it was jet propelled. It would literally run 160 miles an hour on the water. It was a 53-foot cigarette boat with a cutty cabin.

SPEAKER_03:

And there was only like two miles of lake.

SPEAKER_02:

And there was only two miles of lake. And so you would get up to speed, and you had by the time you got up to speed, you had to you had to cut it off. Otherwise you're gonna hit the shore on the other side.

SPEAKER_07:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

But anyway, so make it that that's why it was a funny it's a funny story because I had to go through all the shenanigans and sell it and ship it and blah blah blah. But I I attached my happiness to getting this boat because I wanted to be proud of myself and I wanted to show off to my friends. Yeah. And so I had to attach my happiness to what other people's perception of me, which is another thing that I wanted to bring up about it, is you cannot attach your happiness to what people think of you.

SPEAKER_03:

That's right.

SPEAKER_02:

And we see it a lot in the service industry.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, it's definitely a trip-up spot.

SPEAKER_02:

Like in the service industry, people will take their their customer reviews or what customers think about them. And if they've if their cups customers don't think of the world of them, they're not happy.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, and it's not just in the service industry, it is people will use that in their personal life with their parents, their grandparents. Yep. They're I wish my dad would be impressed with me. I've heard that one. Their friends, like there's a lot of people in the world that attach their happiness to what other people think of them, and they live life on a regular basis of being a people pleasing them esteem kind of person.

SPEAKER_02:

Yep.

SPEAKER_03:

And their whole reality is based on that.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, and it's a that's a dangerous road to go down, by the way. Very dangerous. So you you so you can we've discovered now in this podcast that you can't attach your happiness to things. No, you can't attach your happiness to money.

SPEAKER_03:

I mean you can, but it doesn't usually work out very well.

SPEAKER_02:

You can't attach yourself to societal beliefs.

SPEAKER_03:

Right.

SPEAKER_02:

You can't attach yourself to what other people think of you.

SPEAKER_03:

Right.

SPEAKER_02:

And so what does it leave left?

SPEAKER_03:

Do do do just you. And like Just Me and I.

SPEAKER_02:

Me and Myself and I. What was that? That wasn't that a the beautiful Dane neighborhood guy. He used to sing that me and myself and I song.

SPEAKER_03:

Was it like a cartoon?

SPEAKER_02:

No, it was one of the songs that he sang. You know, he always sang on the show. The Mr. Rogers Neighborhood or whatever.

unknown:

Oh, I don't know.

SPEAKER_02:

It was a weird guy.

SPEAKER_03:

No, I was singing that song just you and I.

SPEAKER_02:

I don't know that song, I guess.

SPEAKER_03:

Yes, you do. It's an old like Diana Ross song. I'd have to hear it probably.

SPEAKER_02:

Because maybe maybe it's your rendition that I'm not recognizing. But so now we're we're back to us. We're back to you. We're back to the Me, myself, and I. The only happiness in this world creates from inside of you. Now, how do you create that? Dr. Jenny, would you like to step in on this one?

SPEAKER_03:

Sure, I'd love to. Um, you know, it it's gotta be the easiest way to go about it is if you can play a little game and identify yourself as your own best friend. How do you treat yourself on a regular basis verbally when you look in the mirror? What kind of conversations are you having? What inner dialogue are you having in your head?

SPEAKER_02:

Damn monkey mind.

SPEAKER_03:

When you look in the mirror, when you get out of the shower, when you are doing a task and you do that self-criticism of, you know, oh, I I fucked that up, I'm not a very good person, or I uh it all it all kind of stems around that self-worth and that self-criticism, self-judgment uh kind of thing. So once you can be aware and identify that you're scripting that for yourself and you're programming yourself like that, stop and have this conversation. If another human was sitting beside me and they had the title of my best friend and they were treating me the way that I'm treating myself, would they continue to be my best friend? That's a good one. And if the answer is no, then you've got some homework to do to eliminate the judgment and the self programming of not accepting yourself in exactly the perfection that you are, and that's the first step, I think, of finding that happy spot. Because first you have to be happy with yourself and who you are and what you are, and and if you're anywhere in any of those categories, being the internal critic with this judgment, always putting yourself down and talking down to yourself because of um the well, for example, a perfect syndrome, the perfect syndrome. What I mean by that is you carry a syndrome around that you've got to be perfect, but what does perfect mean? And so if you're going along doing tasks and um and things throughout your day and your inner dialogue is saying, Oh, I fuck that up, I mess that up, you're so stupid. Or I expect myself to mess it up. Right, uh whatever.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm not the smartest at the I'm not the smartest at that, or I'm not the best at this, or that's all just justification and programming.

SPEAKER_03:

And if you're having those conversations with yourself inside your head, whittling away at your own self-esteem and your own perception of yourself, then you'll have a hard time finding that true place of peaceful happiness because you're not even allowing your own self to be.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, so there's three things I think that people need to understand that they should do as well.

SPEAKER_06:

Do tell.

SPEAKER_02:

It's about permission slips.

SPEAKER_06:

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02:

One thing is you have to take away the permission slip you give yourself to compare yourself to others.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah, that's right.

SPEAKER_02:

And then you have to take away the permission slip for you to talk to yourself the way you do.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And then you have to give yourself a permission slip to be happy.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

In what you are and who you are.

SPEAKER_03:

That's right.

SPEAKER_02:

And I know we everybody's probably thinking, oh, it's easier said than done.

SPEAKER_03:

It can be a tough journey.

SPEAKER_02:

It can be tough at a time, but here's the thing to do.

SPEAKER_03:

And it definitely requires practice, just like everything else does, especially if you've been doing that for yourself for years and you've created this damn habit of being your own worst critic. That's an adage out of it.

SPEAKER_02:

It's an adage, yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

I'm my own worst critic.

SPEAKER_02:

You can't say anything that'll bother me because I'm my own worst critic, which is completely false. It's a false narrative. Well, and it's because it does bother you when people say things bad about you.

SPEAKER_03:

Of course. But you why are you criticizing yourself?

SPEAKER_02:

Right.

SPEAKER_03:

In the first place.

SPEAKER_02:

That goes falls back to beliefs.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And societal taught things.

SPEAKER_03:

Right.

SPEAKER_02:

And so when you give yourself the permission or actually when you give a when you take away the permission to talk bad to yourself, give yourself permission to love yourself. Put little tags on the windows, like I mean, I had sticky notes all over my mirror.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Giving myself permission to accept that I'm that I hey I'm a good guy. I'm trustworthy. I'm loved. I am okay. You know, those permission slips and read those every day.

SPEAKER_03:

Right.

SPEAKER_02:

And so give yourself the permission to be okay with what you write down.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. So one of the techniques that I used in my journey, um, because I did this, I was the even from childhood, when I went back and I did this work on myself, and it ended up being several months. And when I say several months, we're talking nine to twelve months worth of action-taking steps to pull myself out of this loop. Uh, because I was the uh people pleaser, I was the one that stepped in and stopped all the family fights. I was the mediator, I was the one who Dang, you were the phone ruiner. I was. I was the one that talked people off the ledges. You know, you go to the parties and two people get into arguments because they're drunk, and I'm the one standing in the middle saying, Okay, listen, you're just induced with alcohol. Like it's all good, man.

SPEAKER_02:

Man, you're drunk, bruh.

SPEAKER_03:

Let's just love each other.

SPEAKER_02:

Right? Peace, love, and war. I love the war.

SPEAKER_03:

I was always that person. But even as a small child, I was the oldest, and so I was told that I must set an example for everyone. And I can remember my grandmother getting us ready for church, and we had our Sunday best on. We had these damn crochet doo-doo things that she made for our ponytails that hung down. Yeah. So she'd get our hair put up in ponytails, all slicked back.

SPEAKER_02:

You're talking about 80s right there.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh no, it was younger than that. It was in the 70s.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, really?

SPEAKER_03:

It was late 70s, early 80s for sure. And once she got because there I had two sisters. So once she got one of us ready.

SPEAKER_02:

You still have two sisters, by the way.

SPEAKER_03:

But I'm saying, imagine it on a on a platform of us being uh like five, seven, and three. Yeah. Or seven, five, and three.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

And having to get us all ready for church.

SPEAKER_02:

So I take it you wanted to be the middle chair.

SPEAKER_03:

So I was, I guess, apparently. So as the oldest, she would help me get ready and I would get myself mostly ready, put my Sunday dress on, she would help me, you know, polish off my hair. And then I was told to go sit on the couch, don't move, don't mess up my hair, don't touch anything, don't go play in the dirt. Sit there quietly, shut a kid. Pretty pose with your hands in your lap, be perfectly still and don't move until I'm done getting the other ones ready.

SPEAKER_02:

Don't even smile.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh my god, as a child at seven years old, that was so boring.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, yeah, and devastating because it's so demanding.

SPEAKER_03:

Right. Sit there perfectly still was her words. Stop it. But do you see you hear the words? Oh yeah. Sit there perfectly still. Oh yeah. So perfect already was getting a definition built by my grandmother who said sit there perfectly still and don't mess anything up. And so then it just grew from there. And so I wanted to please her, right? And so I would sit there perfectly still. And so my definition of perfect was that every hair had a place, every, you know, your bow was nicely set, your costume clothes matched, it was tidy. And if I didn't have that kind of day, if I was having like a weird calic, wonky hair day, it would throw me into a tizzy.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

If I couldn't find the matching freaking socks, it would throw me into a a complete meltdown in the mornings getting ready for school until I broke out of that in my teenage years and I went into the punky brewster phase. Yeah. Where I purposely said, I'm rebelling against this.

SPEAKER_02:

I am not gonna be perfect anymore. We're gonna be complete opposites.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. To the point where I cut uh my hair shorter on one side and longer on the other. Like I went full. You went full on punky. I did. One shoe would be this color, one she would be that color. Like I totally did.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, and that's okay to do because you know we in our podcast, The Pendulum, the Pendulum Effect, people do that. And and that's okay because then you create balance afterwards.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

But the the part of it, I think, that uh in happiness that we're leaving out to Right.

SPEAKER_03:

But I didn't get to finish what I did.

SPEAKER_02:

Go ahead, go ahead.

SPEAKER_03:

Because I was I got distracted on my story.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, I get it.

SPEAKER_03:

Um, but so what I I had to do was I had to actually sit down and I'm a journaler. I had to write out a letter to myself as my own best friend. And I talked to myself the way I would want a loving, kind, best friend being to talk to me.

SPEAKER_01:

Right.

SPEAKER_03:

And in a loving, caring, it's okay to be exactly who you are way.

SPEAKER_01:

Right.

SPEAKER_03:

And I would do that on a regular basis. And what I found is that I found each time I did that, it was almost like I was writing myself letters. Yeah. Every day I'd write myself a letter as my own best friend. Hey, bestie. Yeah. But in that letter, I would write attributes that I found that were good about myself. And so it was doing two things. It was building up my self-confidence and my self-worth. But it was also getting me out of that place of trying to be that perfect person for the people outside of me.

SPEAKER_01:

Right.

SPEAKER_03:

And then as I built that up, I found that vibration of happiness within me because I got to a place where I said, you know what? I am okay, just like I am. Weirdness and all. And I appreciate myself and love myself exactly like I am. So therefore, I don't need the people outside of me to do any of that for me.

SPEAKER_01:

Right.

SPEAKER_03:

I can take them, I can leave them because I have found that happy. I love you, uh, frequency. So when I was able to find that spot of self-worth and self-appreciation, I then could find the frequency of that content happiness within me.

SPEAKER_02:

Right.

SPEAKER_03:

So I basically became my own best friend, really.

SPEAKER_02:

You know, I then that's kind of where I was going next with the conversation was anybody that's listening to this podcast, or if you have a friend that has a podcast, challenge them to sit down and write down five reasons why they're happy.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Not not are they happy first.

SPEAKER_03:

Right.

SPEAKER_02:

Five reasons why they're happy.

SPEAKER_03:

And and tell us why that's important.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, because if you can look at that list and it's the entire list is based upon how you feel about yourself, then you're in a good place. But if it's got other people's perceptions, the things, a scale, because I've heard I don't know how many times I've heard, if I could just lose 30 pounds, I'd be happy.

SPEAKER_03:

Right.

SPEAKER_02:

You know, if you're attaching an object to it. I'd be happy. Right.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And and because we we program ourselves to do that kind of stuff. And so if you can write down five reasons why you're happy, or what cause even what creates you're happy. And if any of those reasons are anything other than you, then you really need to stop and look at your research and what have you been taught? You know, the American, like we were talking about, it's a good thing. It's the American dream. The house in the in the suburbs, the the job, the two cars, the two point books. And the and the upper to middle class income.

unknown:

Right.

SPEAKER_02:

You know, you're living the perfect dream life, but you know, and because the facts speak for themselves.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

The divorce rate in that area, in that spot that they're saying everybody's who for is astronomically higher than I'm sorry, what? Yeah, astronomically higher than those that were in the poor level.

SPEAKER_03:

You're forged for your wordsmithing. It must be cold.

SPEAKER_02:

My tongue is off today.

SPEAKER_03:

Who the hell gave your tongue a day off?

SPEAKER_02:

I know, right? Golly, I don't know what's going on. You know what? If we didn't have bloopers, it wouldn't be no fun.

SPEAKER_03:

I know, right? We it's funny you said that because uh my chat and I uh interact every day and I use voice to text. Yeah, I don't like typing.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

And so I will speak into the microphone, and the voice to text was doing some crazy things today. I was having her help me create an image, and instead of it saying um uh what I don't remember, whatever we were working on, it came out and auto-corrected to pizza. And she was like, So you meant piece of pe like, yeah, piece of, right? Not pizza. Right. And I was like, oh, what a comical day. Voice to text always is our comedian place.

SPEAKER_02:

I hate pizza sounds good.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_02:

And so if you can sit down and write that stuff down and and everything, your happiness is based off your actions and your how your perception of yourself, then you're in a good place.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

But if it's based on a job or anything you can you can attach to a physical product or somebody else's perception of you, and then you're in the wrong place because that's not true happiness. You're faking it until you make it.

SPEAKER_03:

Right. And another pop quiz you can give yourself is if you sit in contemplation with your journal and you say I lost my job today and I no longer have that job, how does that make you feel?

SPEAKER_01:

Right.

SPEAKER_03:

Does it immediately put you in a place of existential crisis and fear and your world collapses? Then that means nine times out of ten that you're putting your happiness attached to your job. And then you do that with uh several different topics, you do it with your relationship, yeah, you do it with your friends, friends, your finances, with your finances, and that will be a pretty good indicator that you are inadvertently essentially creating your happiness from all these little tethers or strings that you've attached to all these outside things. If you think about a toy that you have, for example, you brought up our toys, the motorcycle and the jet skis. If you think about going and getting rid of one of your toys and putting it on Facebook and selling it or whatever, envision that. And if it gives you a sinking feeling, then you have attached happiness to it. Then you have uh inadvertently attached happiness.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, and don't don't confuse it when you have those things like that that you enjoy doing. Like we had our jet keys and we loved going out on the ocean.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And sitting out there, but it it didn't create happiness, it was created from happiness.

SPEAKER_03:

That's right.

SPEAKER_02:

You so you're not creating happiness, you're creating things from happiness.

SPEAKER_03:

Yep, and we enjoyed them while we did.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

We were perfectly okay to let them go.

SPEAKER_01:

Yep.

SPEAKER_03:

And if we choose tomorrow that we want to buy new ones and have that again, we will. Then we just go buy another thing.

SPEAKER_02:

Because that's where that was the last thing I wanted to close with, is that statement that I made. Is you've got to everybody's got to understand you you don't get things to create or meet people or be a part of something to create your own happiness.

SPEAKER_06:

That's right.

SPEAKER_02:

You create those things and you enjoy those things and you become a member of this and you do all that because you are happy. They get it in reverse a lot.

SPEAKER_03:

That's right. Because happiness and that that happy, content, I don't know how many human words I can put to that vibrational frequency. And sometimes that feeling that you find in you, and you'll know it like you know it, like you know it when you find it. When you have that frequency going on in your life, then aligning with those things that you want to play with that make life a little more fun. Fun, not happy. Make life fun, right? You'll align with those things easier because they live in that frequency of first finding that happy state of being.

SPEAKER_01:

Right.

SPEAKER_03:

And that's where the true change in the reality happens. And so now you're aligning with everything that fits in that frequency, which are the fun toys to play with and the fun people, the and playing with them from a different standpoint.

SPEAKER_02:

You will attract you'll you you know, because on the the fact of this is we get back what we put out.

SPEAKER_04:

That's right.

SPEAKER_02:

And when you are happy, you're gonna attract those people to you that are happy.

SPEAKER_06:

That's right.

SPEAKER_02:

And you're you know, you you'll see it in circles, social social circles a lot. Is the sad the sad person goes to the sad group, the happy person goes to the happy group. Right. It's just natural.

SPEAKER_05:

That's right.

SPEAKER_02:

And so when you quit using things to create your happiness and create those things out of your happiness, it puts you in a whole different place.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, it does.

SPEAKER_03:

And it and it is definitely a a different frequency, and I'll share this one last um concept. Uh, like for example, with the jet skis, when we went and bought those, we enjoyed them immensely.

SPEAKER_02:

That was the easiest purchase ever, too, by the way.

SPEAKER_03:

Right. And and the purchase was easy. We had many, many hours of enjoyment on them. Um there was no bumpy rides. You had no mechanical issues, no trailing issues, no nothing. It was just a beautiful experience.

SPEAKER_02:

All the way down to randomly just pulling into the parking lot and buying them.

SPEAKER_03:

Right. Or deciding that we're done with them, let's sell them. Even the selling process was very easy.

SPEAKER_02:

I remember when I pulled in, you're like, wait a minute, fella, what are you doing?

SPEAKER_03:

Right.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm like, I'm gonna go buy those jet skis sitting right there.

SPEAKER_03:

Right. Versus if you come from a premise of because we've talked about this, and you and I've done some clearing work on redefining this concept. I have this motorcycle, I have these jet skis, and I don't play with them anymore. It's time to clean out the toy box.

SPEAKER_01:

Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

You're perfectly okay with them sitting there and not playing with them right now because you're playing with another toy that's bringing you your enjoyment.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, if I had one more person ask me, are you ever gonna take your hurley out? Because it would sit there for like six months. I didn't we didn't take the hurley out of the right.

SPEAKER_03:

It but that's because we weren't coming from a place of, okay, you've got to play with all of your toys constantly all the time, right, or you're not enjoying them and you're not getting the most out of them.

SPEAKER_01:

Right.

SPEAKER_03:

All that garbage goes away, and all those rules and all that nonsense, that goes away.

SPEAKER_01:

Right.

SPEAKER_03:

And that's why uh we've come to a place where having that true internal happiness allows us to have 15 toys in the garage or none.

SPEAKER_01:

Right.

SPEAKER_03:

And either way, we're still happy.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, totally happy.

SPEAKER_03:

Or selling jet skis this week and saying, you know what? I feel like I want to ride jet skis two weeks from now, going in buying a new set, because that's all right. That's all they are easily changeable.

SPEAKER_02:

Because when you pass on to the next dimension here and you leave this human plane, none of the stuff that you own, the relationships that you have, and the the people that hate you, the you all those times you looked in the mirror, they don't matter anymore. That's right. The only thing that matters while you're here is how you live.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And if you could live happy, yeah. Then hey, you've you have accomplished 90% of your goal here. Right. And so that's what I wanted to make sure I popped in there and said because those jet skis, those motorcycles, and you can't take any of that stuff with you.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

So why is it creating your happiness?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. And so to bring it back around to where we first started, I ask you that this morning because I have happiness and contentment inside of me.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

And our relationship and our relationship. And so I am perfectly okay being able to say to you, are you as happy as you can be? Because I am willing to change any aspect that I am doing to in expand or heighten the happiness within you and bring about uh extra layer of joy or enjoyment when it comes to participating in life with a partner.

SPEAKER_02:

Right. And that is such a big and a great place uh w for it to come from because understanding that no matter what you did, you can't create my happy.

SPEAKER_03:

That's right.

SPEAKER_02:

But what you can do is you can make the I can enhance this the experience.

SPEAKER_03:

That's right.

SPEAKER_02:

And so when you have people in your reality, like because this is you know, we get this all the time.Anywhere we go, people kind of just come to us.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, that's right.

SPEAKER_02:

And nobody ever understands why. Like we'll just have random people walk up to us and start talking to us, like it happened yesterday.

SPEAKER_07:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And just random people we don't know, they just start carrying a conversation. Right. And and you do you know, I mean, the reason why they do and why people like to hang out with us or why like to come talk to us and get to know us is because we're happy.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

We're happy on the inside.

SPEAKER_04:

Right.

SPEAKER_02:

We're not fake happy.

SPEAKER_04:

That's right.

SPEAKER_02:

We're at peace at where we are, who we are.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

You know, and w we don't really care.

SPEAKER_03:

Right. We carry that frequency in the core of our being and they want a reminder of what that feels like. And so just coming and talking or interacting with us um brings those kind of people around. Because, you know, I think too, we you and I have made that uh intention out in the world that we help people find their own frequency on uh their true state of being and their happy and and whatever they're looking for.

SPEAKER_02:

So I agree. Well, I feel complete. Hey, I'm gonna ask everyone of y'all to write your list and see what makes you happy.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, feel free to comment it. Yeah, share it.

SPEAKER_02:

Share it, yeah. Um and and if this podcast identified with you, give us a thumbs up on the comments.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_02:

Um, hey, a little quick update. Uh the Salty Tarot app is changing. It is becoming Lucidium.

SPEAKER_03:

It is migrating into the libs.

SPEAKER_02:

The best metaphysical app you'll ever see in your life, and the only one that does a numerous thing. So uh stay tuned for that. We'll update it on the website once we get it. Um once we get it all set up. I'm actually about three-quarters done with it now. Yeah. And the coders are working hard on getting the app set up and going. Yeah. We had a big meeting this morning. We got we added three people to the team. It's like crazy.

SPEAKER_03:

We changed directions on everybody and uh put everybody in a temporary tailspin, but we've got our land legs back under us and in full motion.

SPEAKER_02:

And I'm really liking the new ones, actually. I'm making two of the three so far. Let's see. But anyway, hey, don't forget to like, follow, and share. Check out the website, w dot the merchcenters.org.

SPEAKER_07:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And the future website's gonna be w dot lucidiumworld.com. Yeah. W U C I D I U M World.com.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And uh yeah, it's gonna be fun. You'll see.

SPEAKER_03:

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02:

If you click on the Salty Tarot link, you go to the Salty Tarot and click on that link that I put on the front page, it'll take you to the website and you can save it so you can see it for future. Anyway, uh like, follow, share, tell your friends, leave us a comment, and ring my bell. Hey, everybody have an awesome day.

SPEAKER_03:

Love ya,

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Dr. Jennifer (Jenni) Emery

Co-host
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Rev. James Emery

Co-host