The Spiritual Grind
Dr. Jenni PhD,RN,CHLC,CH and medium and Rev. James ORD, MhsB have spent countless years studying and practicing many modalities within the "Spiritual" domain. Dr. Jenni has dedicated her life to helping others by attending countless schools and developing each of her practices and strategies. Rev. James has studied many modalities and Native American practices and they have Both decided to open their library of knowledge to share this information with everyone in a down to earth style, with hope to assist in making your journey easier and more abundant.
The Spiritual Grind
Redefining Intimacy: From Societal Pressure to Authentic Connection
What happens when we strip away the layers of societal conditioning around sex and intimacy? In this boundary-pushing conversation, we explore the profound disconnect between authentic sexual expression and the performance-based approach many of us have been taught.
The core revelation centers on a simple but revolutionary truth: sex does not equal love. This false equivalence has created generations of confusion, particularly for women who've been socialized to offer sexual intimacy as proof of love, while simultaneously being shamed for expressing their sexuality too freely. Meanwhile, men struggle with conquering mindsets and performance anxiety that prevent true connection.
We share powerful real-world examples, including a story about a professionally successful, naturally beautiful woman who faced workplace discrimination simply for embracing her authentic self. Through these narratives, we illustrate how judgment and comparison poison our capacity for genuine expression and satisfaction.
Our three-step process for reclaiming your authentic sexuality starts with identifying the societal beliefs that have shaped your perception of intimacy. Next, understand your true motivations – are you seeking pleasure and connection, or using sex to fill an emotional void? Finally, own who you are without apology. When your sexual expression aligns with your authentic self rather than external expectations, intimacy transforms from obligation to genuine connection.
Whether you're in a committed relationship, exploring multiple connections, or focused on self-discovery, this episode offers a judgment-free framework for examining your relationship with sexuality. Join us as we challenge conventional wisdom and invite you to discover what true spiritual sexuality means for you. What beliefs are you ready to release to experience more authentic connection?
Thank you. Good morning everybody. Welcome back to. The Spirits Will Grind. It's kind of an overcast day today here in Daytona Beach. Yeah, a little sprinkles here and sprinkles there.
Speaker 2:Good morning.
Speaker 1:Good morning, dr Jenny. She has been in the middle of workinginkles there, Good morning. Good morning, dr Jenny. She has been in the middle of working on quantum physics all morning, so she is a little bit, you know, you know, you know what I mean, you know, I'll just play.
Speaker 2:That's what I like to do for fun?
Speaker 1:Yeah, like you said. I said what does your wife do for fun? Oh, she figures out quantum physics, computational equations that are not heard of yet.
Speaker 2:Right, what he's describing is. I wrote an article this morning for the Mathematical Physical. I wrote an article this morning for the Mathematical Physical Physics and Quantum.
Speaker 1:Theorem Society, yeah, hoping to become the next Einstein. Yeah, it'll be cool, like after you're gone, they'll be finding your manuscripts. No, I want it to happen before I'm gone. I'm talking about stuff that you have like in the books down here, that you haven't even pulled out in a while right, oh, the journal, and yeah all that stuff, but anyway, so, uh, you know, last week we had a pretty heated or on my phone.
Speaker 2:There's lots of good stuff, lots of good stuff on your phone.
Speaker 1:By the way, before we get started, I ordered the first Oracle card deck yesterday.
Speaker 2:Yeah For. The.
Speaker 1:Salty Tarot deck.
Speaker 2:Yeah, excited about getting that and seeing what that looks like.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's going to be fun, and the Shopify store is almost up with all of our stuff actually, and you came up with a of our stuff actually, and you came up with a new thing, I guess, last night that we'll talk about later and put up there as a little surprise, but it's going to be kind of a cool little line.
Speaker 1:But we're going to have the Salty Tarot products, we're going to have the Spiritual Grind products and we're going to have the Merch Center products on there, yeah, and so we'll have tarot cards, oracle cards, all sorts of things. T-shirts.
Speaker 2:T-shirts, hats everything Coffee mugs. You may not want to mention it outright just yet.
Speaker 1:Not yet nope.
Speaker 2:The coffee.
Speaker 1:The coffee. Yeah, we are working on a, you know, because this has all started? Because for years, Dr Jenny and myself, in the morning when we get up, we'd have a session to where we'd work on beliefs and patterns and programs with each other and we started calling that the coffee talk.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And it turned into that.
Speaker 2:started years ago.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that turned into to where we were sharing it with all of our employees in our morning meetings and stuff like that, right, and then somebody said one day why don't you all like put? That on a podcast? Yeah, and then now here we are. We've been doing it now for officially a year.
Speaker 2:Really.
Speaker 1:Yeah, officially a year on the 16th of this month. Oh, wow we posted our first one on the 18th.
Speaker 2:Can we get a round of applause? Yes, we can?
Speaker 1:I just don't know which one it is. Hang on, let's see. Is it this one? Nope, not that one. Nope, not that one, not that one. There it is, I found it.
Speaker 2:Wow, that was a quick year I know right. That went by very fast.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and our growth behind it's been pretty rewarding actually. You know we have awards from Buzzsprout.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And now we're going video Right. My goal is today to get the Salty Tarot Shop open. We've got the video rolling now and we'll start posting our videos on YouTube and see how that goes, and we're going to try. Dr Jenny has her new book out scripted from within. I am working on a new book, um called unlocked. You'll see she's been a whitening whiting it. That is available on Amazon and KDP and the audible thing, I've had to pull some stuff out off the manuscript so I got to go back and work on that.
Speaker 1:So it's not available on audible yet because it doesn't take note pages.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, the extra note pages I put in for people to make notes along the way yeah, kind of a little mini journal.
Speaker 1:You know, like this one is. It's not real, it's not a real big book, but it's very informative and it's to the point. That's. I think that's the cool thing about it is, is it uh, and I think the script may be a little small, so next time we'll have to upgrade the script a little bit, but, uh, I I think that it's uh a good little handbook to have and you can carry it with you and be very inconspicuous.
Speaker 2:So yeah, I mean, that was the an easy quick read that really gets the core concept across and then gives room for you to journal throughout your day as you're reading it.
Speaker 2:And that's why the blank note pages were put in there, so that you could kind of have an all-in-one thing and not have to carry a journal around, or if you hadn't quite figured out how to do that on your technology piece of equipment, or if you're just a writer and what comes through is through pen and paper. Yes, it, um. I wanted it to be a combined thing, to where it was all in one and easy to carry about if it's nicely in a purse and um doesn't take up a lot of space. Yes, so going much bigger or uh, whatever, uh, wait, I'll explore.
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah, excuse me, I have to stop for a commercial break. This commercial is brought to you by unlocked the 45 day challenge. That'll be coming out soon. It's actually a book that I'm writing, um, that helps you to balance and clear old beliefs and begin your life in a different way every day. Balance all three of the emotional, physical and spiritual realms of your life. Yeah, that, so that'll be out here soon. I've actually almost got it done.
Speaker 2:Would you? It's actually your second book.
Speaker 1:It's my second book, yeah.
Speaker 2:Your first book. That's out there.
Speaker 1:Sales Energy Method. Yeah yeah. It's on Amazon and KDP.
Speaker 2:I think the beautiful thing about it is that the book you're writing now called Unlocked um the book you're writing now called unlocked it feeds nicely off the script the scripted from within, and it does it from a perspective of, would you say from a perspective of the male premise.
Speaker 1:You know it's the book that I wish I had when I started awakening.
Speaker 2:Going on a different type of earthly yes, complicated, very, very tough journey, yes, but still kind of it's got my personal story in it, so yeah, it's got my personal story in it, which I hope you all will enjoy when you read it.
Speaker 1:So it is gives you the keys, cause uh, it is, uh, gives you the keys to every day, and it's the book that I wish I had when I was awakening, when I was going through that process, because there it's so limited information. There's nothing out there that's direct, nothing that says, hey, do this, this and yeah, and, and this book I wrote for it to do that. It gives you daily things to do.
Speaker 1:Send you a daily affirmation Once you sign up for it, it'll send you a daily affirmation in your email to kind of reinforce, and it also has my notes from where I actually went through my awakening process in it and the little stages that that, uh will kind of help encourage everybody along the way because it you know when you, when you're going through all this beliefs and patterns and programs and you, if you don't have somebody to talk to through it right. It can be a little daunting and you, you say to yourself oh my gosh why am I doing this?
Speaker 1:Or why am I doing it? This is, this is bullcrap, this is too hard, and and those little words of encouragement that come along to kind of help.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and aren't you currently doing like a little kind of beta test on the daily affirmations being sent over?
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's working, it's working. Uh, I started it five days ago and I got my fifth one today. Then it gave me on top of that, it gave me the daily affirmation, the uh, um, kind of an overview of what's coming next. And it worked out. It's working well. Nice I'm beta testing it. Yeah, we'll see how it goes. That way, people can sign up and it'll just automatically come to you via text or email is what I'm working on. Yeah, because this morning it came text like I asked.
Speaker 1:Very nice, very nice and every fifth day will come on your text message. That's what it's I'm working on, so, but anyway, are you ready to move on to the podcast?
Speaker 2:I am, except one thing, yeah, I wanted to bring. So yesterday we went and treated ourselves to fingers and toes yeah and so what color did you pick yesterday?
Speaker 1:I got orange, yeah, but I got fluorescent orange.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it looks really good with your tan.
Speaker 1:With my tan. Yeah, it does, I agree.
Speaker 2:But the interesting.
Speaker 1:Thing is now that you've put the energy out there. Another gentleman came in with his female and he had his toes done as well, yeah. Yeah, yeah, so we're seeing that embracing, that opening the side of things embracing the, the concept of not needing to have that hard core. Well, it's a masculine identity.
Speaker 2:That is nonsense.
Speaker 1:It's judgment and I think that's why I am so hell-bent on it is because nobody has the right to judge me. Ever nobody gets that card in their pocket to use on me right and I am a six foot tall, 220 pound, muscled up man that's tattooed, and when you walk into a pedicure shop and you have painted toenails, they look at you like you're cross-eyed and crazy right, you're kind of that bad boy harley rider look, and so you don't fit I don't fit the metrosexual like archetype at all I agree
Speaker 1:which makes it even more beautiful yes, and, and because I don't worry about it, I mean, let's talk about it. You know, you know, uh, may, may. His energy flow through the whole universe is ozzy osbourne just passed away here not very long ago and ozzy always painted his toenails and fingernails. But one of the most respected men in the in the metal world yeah, metal music world ever lived and he was known as crazy.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And that's actually another label that they do. When people do that, right, you know you'll see these rock and rollers that have their nails painted black and they get labeled as you know, crazy or you know off the wall or different, and that's not fair either.
Speaker 2:Or back in our day, it was satanic yeah, satanic. I remember the devil worshipers so ridiculous just because they're, and if you've ever talked with him and interacted with him. He is such a soft and compassionate and intelligent gentle yeah, oh yeah, this's a compassionate, gentle individual that is actually very awakened and enlightened.
Speaker 1:Yeah, totally.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, he's not.
Speaker 1:He's not awakened now. Technically he is awakened, but he's not awakened. But you know, I enjoyed your music for many years. I've been to many OzFests in my life and, hey, ozzy, I enjoyed your music for many years. I've been to many Oz fests in my life and, uh, hey, ozzy, I hope your journey continues on in the next dimension.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he says right on. Thank you, brother.
Speaker 1:Yep, yep, yep, they, you, you've influenced me in many ways. I don't even know it Like when.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that was, that's what happened.
Speaker 1:He came out on the steps after he started wearing mascara and they was out of the New York times and they were. They were kind of making fun of him. He comes out on the steps of that church and he bites off the head of that bird. Nobody spoke about him again, you want crazy. You want crazy, I'll show you crazy.
Speaker 2:I'll give you crazy MFers.
Speaker 1:Kind of funny actually. But remember, you know, what's crazy is is we used to do that when we were quail hunt, so it's not a big deal well, yeah, I mean, if you look at different cultures, around the world that honor the archetype of staying true to their um heritage and heritage from back in the day.
Speaker 2:That's a ritualistic event that takes place when you take the life of something. Each culture has its own drink the blood type thing of, you know, eating the heart or you know, actually, what it is.
Speaker 1:What it is in the culture when I was in the native culture, when I was taught by one of the guys I went hunting with for the first time. Or quail hunting is they only have two pieces of meat that you can eat, right, they're both the breasts, right. And so you stick your finger in the backside, you pull out the guts, bite the head off and you peel the, and that way you ain't got to carry all the extra weight yeah, so a quick story to share, uh, because before you can do all that, you got to pluck the feathers, right?
Speaker 2:no, no, well, that's what I was taught yeah, as a child. I was in literally in kindergarten, and we lived so far out in the country and we didn't have a lot of money this is when my parents were back, when we were younger.
Speaker 2:A lot of a lot of families and so at this point we lived with my mother, and so funds were extremely limited. I think she was working as a waitress, whatever. I literally had a four hour bus drive ride to kindergarten, so I had to pack a morning breakfast and then a lunch, but to get to my story, we caught supper and it was we were on a piece of land where the dove and the quail were abundant.
Speaker 2:the dove and the quail were abundant, yeah, and so my aunt lived with us on the property and she had an older son, so it was his job to go out and shoot the bird and it was my job to pluck the feathers off and get it ready, to finish the processing part of it, and my favorite item that would be made would be dove breast and rice. And that's basically at that time in our life that's what we were kind of raised on, and it was so good how my aunt made it. I lapped it up like a little hungry pup. I can remember it being so good how my aunt made it. I lapped it up like a little hungry pup.
Speaker 2:I can remember it being so good yeah, you know, that was back in the day there was, there was times that's the only way we ate.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's by hunting and fishing, but anyway, my job was to pluck the feathers moving on in our podcast. Now are you ready? Yeah we're going to continue from last week. Do you remember what last week's session was? From the last one.
Speaker 2:Sex.
Speaker 1:Sex.
Speaker 2:Yeah, ooh, can you give us a? Oh, that's not it. Nope, wait a minute. Nope. Oh, my God, that's the blue one.
Speaker 1:I don't know this one. Well, that's the music one. I need to label them. I don't ever label them.
Speaker 2:You don't ever use them.
Speaker 1:I know right, we don't ever use some. I know right um the we don't have to now.
Speaker 2:I wanted more of a taboo audience. You can add.
Speaker 1:You can add the, uh, the stuff in. Now you don't even have to and don't even need those buttons anymore, and yeah with AI's help, yeah which further proves my mathematical computation that I'm trying to get acknowledged. Yeah, that's for sure, and you'll get it, I know you will.
Speaker 2:Oh, absolutely.
Speaker 1:So last week we talked about spiritual sex.
Speaker 2:So to speak. Is that different than human sex?
Speaker 1:No, we're talking about sex in a spiritual manner. Ah okay, and the main topic that we talked about was how people believe it's a chore in relationships and how it can become entangled with old beliefs and everything.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, from not only a female perspective, but you brought in the male perspective of a kind of a performance-based yes. And I brought in the perspective of performance-based, but we did it from the two different genders, yeah, and then the conquering standpoint.
Speaker 1:That's where you know, uh the just to recap everything was a challenge in sex and so it became a conquering mindset, and when you have a conquering mindset it doesn't ever work out too well. But the point behind it now is what I think we ought to move into in the sexual topic is understanding energetic flow and not human forcefulness. And because we as humans have taught, the world teaches us everything. If you stop and just look around, almost every advertisement anymore that's like a chicken dance.
Speaker 2:We're on video now, so we're doing the crab hands. Yeah.
Speaker 1:If you look around and all of the advertisements are pretty much sexual, based in some sort of a manner, unless it's a drug or prescription commercial.
Speaker 2:But I feel like sometimes those even have some they do a little bit sexual innuendo they do I I would agree, and I'm really tired of seeing a prescription drug commercials.
Speaker 1:I think, uh, I think they need to be banned again, like they used to be. They shouldn't be able to advertise a prescription drug yeah, but we want to stay on topic.
Speaker 2:Yes, stay on topic.
Speaker 1:Another podcast but the topic about it is is understanding that the society influences our thoughts and you know they influence it with radio, with stereo, with advertising, with billboards, with anything Like. There was one time I passed a billboard in Texas on I-35. And on that billboard it had this very beautiful model sprawled all the way out in a bikini, okay and at the top of it it said find your inner porn star.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 1:And it was an advertisement for a tanning salon.
Speaker 2:Oh, goodness me.
Speaker 1:And I remember driving by that and my daughter saying what does tanning have to do with porn? Oh goodness me. And I remember driving by that and my daughter saying what does tanning have to do with porn? And because she was like 13 or 14, she knew what porn was Right.
Speaker 2:I was like well, have you ever seen a pale porn star? She's like Daddy, I've never seen a porn star.
Speaker 1:No, she actually answered the question and I looked at her like cross-eyed, like.
Speaker 2:Side-eyed her.
Speaker 1:Yeah, side-eyed her. You know. The whole point behind what I'm getting at is it influences our thoughts and our processes, like that billboard right there. Told my daughter that if you're tanned, you look like a porn star, which is a desirable thing, which is a desirable thing. Which is a desirable thing.
Speaker 2:According to the billboard.
Speaker 1:According to the billboard.
Speaker 2:Right. So, unfortunately, inadvertently, what happens is it begins to give the female this misconceived concept.
Speaker 1:About self.
Speaker 2:I want to be accepted into society.
Speaker 1:And be viewed as sexy or sexual.
Speaker 2:I have to begin to achieve this look.
Speaker 1:And she actually said to me in that conversation well, I'm pale, I don't tan like that, I burn or I don't. And I said yeah, and so you could almost see the wheels turning in your head. You know like, oh, does that mean I'm never going to be sexy?
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And man, what a, what a uh. The word I'm looking for it's uh. What a way to dilute a self image of somebody, somebody's personal self image of themselves and what they do we do it all the time and and how that coordinates with our podcast is I want to get into it is is. I've been thinking about this podcast a lot since we had it last week because the sexual topic is is an issue in everybody. I say an issue, not really An issue is kind of a harsh word. It's a subject in most everybody's relationship and when you are working off societal top beliefs and not have a deeper understanding from within you that you have certain parameters, you have to look a certain way, you have to act a certain way, you have to be a certain way. What it does is it causes a couple of things.
Speaker 2:Do tell.
Speaker 1:One is your self-perception. A is how you have to act, how you have to be, how you have to perform, and I'm talking about men and women, both, and so this is a general broad spectrum.
Speaker 1:And how you have to look and how you have to look and how you have to behave. It gets put out there in a certain way that you are not doing sex right unless it looks this way Right, and then the other part of that is the negativity behind it that you get within it when you don't hold up to those societal type beliefs. Hold up to those societal type beliefs you know like, for example and I'm going to go on a religious little- spot here, Not really a rant.
Speaker 1:You know, religion teaches you to keep your virginity as long as you can, and you know, and it also teaches you that you only marry once. I mean most religions, you religions, they frown upon. Some churches won't even divorce you. They frown on you. If you're going to get a divorce, oh no. So on both sides of that, they're not combating societal sexual beliefs, but they're just like putting a burp. Stop to it. They're not talking about it, they're not making it real and they're not making people understand the validity or the non-valid points that they have obtained in self-beliefs, and so they just put a staunch into it and don't even talk about it. Like you know, when I was the religious community you mean, yes, a lot of the different religions.
Speaker 1:You know when, when I was the religious community. You mean, yes, a lot of the a lot of the different religions. You know sexist football.
Speaker 1:I mean there's some religions that women can't even walk around uncovered right, yeah and and the reality is this is no matter what religion you are, doesn't matter what you look like or feel like you act like. If you understand within yourself your, your beliefs that have been taught wrong and then work through those beliefs, it can change a lot of perceptions in your life, like, for example, the swingers community. We're going to talk about that because we live in Florida and one of the largest swingers community in the world is right up the street right you know those, they get viewed as their whores or their sluts.
Speaker 1:And the men, of course, they know they get, they get held up on a pedestal, that there's some kind of a King in there and they have this, you know, astronomically sized, you know and wallet, and wallet and sugar daddy, and so all these faux Paul labels get put on them as well.
Speaker 2:But everybody views them as being and walks the stalker stalker, because this one's down here and you know.
Speaker 1:So. Everybody views the swingers community as being wrong, or you know? Yeah, and let's stop and really think about that a minute, because all they're doing is being themselves. They're not conforming to societal top beliefs or religious beliefs Right, they're going with their natural energy.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And what feels good to them.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And they have a deeper understanding of who they are and what they are. And the main point of what I was getting to is truly a Wasabi Help Did she scratch you.
Speaker 1:No, If you are truly in tune with oneself like you always talk about, um, being in tune with yourself and understanding because everybody has a little bit different perspectives on on sex in their life because of societal top beliefs and stop and really get back to your true self and kind of discover what is it that you do want, what is it that you feel like?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And go through every aspect of that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I will say that a very wise man taught me early on and it was a very deep-seated concept that I had to navigate and still have layered concepts of it that come up and still have layered concepts of it that come up that I was taught early on was sex does not equal love.
Speaker 1:It doesn't.
Speaker 2:That is such a prominent belief that is out there and deeply entangled in so many things that are going on, especially in the female world. Yeah, I can remember as a young individual, the first time I had sexual relations. That male used that word to convince me to do the act. And there became the entanglement of that thing, but it was because that was what he was taught.
Speaker 1:That's right.
Speaker 2:Is that if you love each other, then you're going to do this.
Speaker 1:You're going to share that special moment.
Speaker 2:You're going to share that special moment, you're going to do this act, and so for so many people, it gets defined almost inappropriately. Not inappropriately, but it gets defined in a confusing way and then it starts to entangle in everything else.
Speaker 1:It's about definitions.
Speaker 2:I can speak about the female person within me. I went through my life carrying that definition with me. Yeah, and if I? Well, for example, if I wanted to show him that I loved him, then I performed sexual act to show my love yeah, because nothing show loves better than fellatio right, because I was confused about it and nine times out of ten it was being read that way anyways yeah, totally.
Speaker 1:That's because, and that's because you're taught to think that way right and that's what religion does is keep your virginity. Don't have sex till you're married, because you're supposed to love one another.
Speaker 2:Right, but the confusing part of it. I'm coming full circle back around is if the church is teaching keep your virginity, and I have a definition that says sex equals love, but then I go to church and what? What I'm supposed to do is no sex. Then how am I ever going to show anybody that I love them? You see the entanglement of the quandary that lives on what that whole shit and ass mess is that I then have to later unentangle in session with clients and with myself.
Speaker 1:I have a client that his wife thinks he's cheating all the time yeah. And just because the perception of how he's supposed to act is not how he is acting.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And red flags, red flags, red flags go flying up the minute something doesn't go the way she thinks it should.
Speaker 2:Right, even like last week's example that was completely preposterous, that you used of her having experienced a cheating situation.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And now those red flags pop up because of behaviors that are going on that she's defined as red flag moments. I gotta catch it in this relationship. Yeah, and he's never even cheated or done any of that while they're together right, you know, and here she still brings that historical experience with her and almost convicts him of the thing yeah, you know without it being even a plausible thing one of my football official buddies when I was officiating football back in the day.
Speaker 1:um, him and I had a very long conversation about this because he made the comment one day of because he was married and was sleeping around his wife all the time. And I want to end like, like right there, I just use this as a titlecom, and sleeping around with his is a derogatory way of saying he is addicted to conquering. And it does not mean it's cause he's out sleeping with him. It does not mean he doesn't love his wife.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:It just she has taught that if he cheats, he don't love her, and so do you do. You see the conflicting thing. The church teaches you to keep your virginity until you get married because you love somebody. Then you have sex, and the minute that that hormone in men erupts, it is a recipe for the disaster, because they don't ever teach them what to do with it. Right, I was one of those people.
Speaker 1:I never got them what to do with it. Right, I was one of those people. I never got taught what to do with it, never got one told anything.
Speaker 2:Well, and as a female that same hormone exists.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, totally.
Speaker 2:And arousal and sexuality. That all exists within the woman. But we are taught to dumb it down and ignore it and not express it, because then we're sluts or whores or uh, whatever any of those derogatory titles are. And so we're taught to ignore it completely. So we don't even get the opportunity to really truly dive in and feel the feeling of it and experience or see sex from a place of true inner enjoyment yeah, totally because we're taught to ignore it you're a slut.
Speaker 1:If you do it right, you act on it. You're a slut yeah and that is wrong right. How dare you enjoy life?
Speaker 1:and you know gold digger, yeah, whatever yeah, there's a bunch of them out there there's a lot, but the you know and here's another side of the two that I wanted to bring up before we kind of get through a process that I've got in my head okay is when I used to work in a great big gold building in dallas and there was this woman in that office Is there a reason you're referencing a gold building specifically. Yeah Well, not really. It's because I can't name the name. I don't want to name the name.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay.
Speaker 1:It's a very large company and there was a woman that worked in that office. She was there, was literally. You could look at that woman and find nothing wrong yeah nothing. She was just the epiphany of perfectly proportioned, intelligent, beautiful, and there was. I mean, she was just sexy and she always wore, you know, clothes that were perhaps a little edgy on the business side, a little risky compared to business attire.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know, but she was always professional, 100% Right, and she was married to somebody. You're like. When you met the guy, you're like, wow, those two do not go together. He was a computer programmer for IBM and he looked like the guy from revenge, the nerds with the glasses and the pocket protector.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he for ibm, and he looked like the guy from revenge the nerds with the glasses and the pocket protector. Yeah, yeah, he came in. He came in for the christmas party.
Speaker 2:I was like wow what right.
Speaker 1:But come to find out that she was a closet geek until she met him and he was like no, just be beautiful, be yourself right, yeah and anyway I had women coming to me complaining that this woman is walking around the office like this, like she would take her shoes off and walk. It's even a perfect feat. It was like nuts. All the guys were talking about it and my boss said I'm going to talk to her. I'm like bro, do you realize? Your production and your mail side is going to go down because of where her office was. The guys had to get stuff done so they could print, because the printer was not very far from her office, and so they would hurry up and get all the reports done and print them so they could go to the printer.
Speaker 2:And walk by her office.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and walk by her office, and so I was like your production is going to go down, your reports are going to be behind.
Speaker 2:Not only that, but it's not fair.
Speaker 1:Right and I said so. Why?
Speaker 2:Because other females are jealous. You're going to make this person change how she presents herself.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was really. You know, that's the conversation I had with him.
Speaker 2:Yeah, have a talk with the females that are complaining about it and say you know, have the conversation with them.
Speaker 1:Right, so I sit down in his office and I put my feet up on his desk. I sit back in his chair. I sit back in his chair. I'm like Roger, let's talk about this a minute. I said let's pull it all aside, and I got nothing to do with that woman's performance at work. Right, because she outperforms every other woman in this building, and that's truly what's really going on.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Is because she is the total package. That's right, and they're jealous of it, and so they're going to start complaining that she's just dressing not appropriately.
Speaker 2:Right, they got to find something.
Speaker 1:They got to try to find something wrong.
Speaker 2:To make themselves feel better.
Speaker 1:But because of this woman and what she had created, and she literally raised the bar.
Speaker 2:On many levels, on many levels, on many levels, not only for the women, but with the men. Right.
Speaker 1:For production.
Speaker 2:For production. Yes totally but visual appearance yes, Intelligence and the time frame of productivity.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:It made everybody step up their game, essentially.
Speaker 1:Right. And so he said well, I've got to do something, because it's going to become an HR issue. If I don't, I'm like. No, dave, you just tell everybody. Hey, you know what, I'll go talk to her when you can do the job that she does. When you perform at her level. I will talk to her about her attire Right. Until then, quit finding reasons to complain about the person that's outperforming you.
Speaker 2:Exactly Call them out on their nonsense.
Speaker 1:Right, and it's because they're acting on societal beliefs. But anyway, the point I was getting to was is, when I met these at this Christmas party for this conversation and I talked to them I actually talked to them because I've always been that guy- them being the man, the, the female and, and her and her husband partner the one that looked like the guy from revenge of the nerds.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I swear to god, he looked just like him, even had the glasses the real thick. I mean they weren't taped but they had the black rim glasses yeah and we're sitting there and we're just kind of sitting the table drinking, and I was. I was really curious about him.
Speaker 1:Okay, and you know me, that's just what I do right I interview people all the time and they don't even know it. And I and he was telling me that, yeah, they met in college when she was studying computer sciences, because that's what she did for that company was. She did you know, back then it wasn't called networking, it was called uh processes, computer processes, and uh, uh, you know, yeah, they met in college, blah, blah, blah, blah, and she always wore big, frumpy clothes and and had her pony.
Speaker 2:He was telling me all the whole story well, yeah, and even that concept not to interrupt your story real quick. But the big frumpy clothes was to hide her natural beauty probably because she got dinged and binged about it all through her life right I, because I I can relate to that yeah I mean coming up in high school. I was one of those individuals that had a very active body style, but I had been blessed with you had an active what. Body style, but I got blessed with very huge breasts.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Huge it's going to be huge.
Speaker 2:I got the same thing. I got beat up by the female people Because of something I didn't even. Get control of. If I wore certain shirts or whatever, then I was being slutty or you know whatever.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And it starts to affect the way that you present yourselves.
Speaker 1:And so like in the conversation, he said yeah, she changed. He said I'll never forget that Cause this woman actually had like the perfectly copper tone skin.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but she didn't even have to work, never tanned yeah.
Speaker 1:And she never tanned Right and, and so I was. He said yeah. He said when she walked down the aisle at my wedding she, literally I had to ask the my pastor is that my wife? Because she looks so beautiful.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And uh he was used to.
Speaker 1:Just to recap, he was used to seeing her in the front the clothes and clothes, and so now she had her makeup all done, she had her hair did, then she had, she had her contacts in right and uh, he said you know? He said until she got about three foot from the podium I don't think that I ever realized how beautiful her green eyes were, oh, and how deep they were, because the glasses always hinders it, she said. He said I knew she had pretty eyes, but not that deep a green. Yeah, and he said I told her when she walked up on the podium I don't care what happens after this day, but I don't care what happens after this day, but you should always keep your beauty out. And he said she's been this way ever since. And he said insecure is all get out she, but she loves dressing up, she loves being the barbie doll. Yeah, but she didn't because of her higher intelligence level, which he's very highly intelligent yeah she was always taught to dumb it down that's right, that's.
Speaker 1:But it goes back to societal beliefs and talking about sex. You know, when we talk about sex and we talk about spiritual sex, what I mean by spiritual sex is this is a if you don't know who you are inside yet, you should not experience sex, right? You need to understand who you are, yeah, and you need to understand that societal beliefs are not the way sex is. Porn is not the way sex is. Yeah, now it can be that way.
Speaker 1:Right. But here's the cool part about all of it it can be any way you want it to be. Yeah, sex can be any way. Level of sex to where you have a complete relationship, a interaction that is spiritually driven, takes two things. One is you have to identify your beliefs that you don't believe in or don't feel right, that are society taught.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Because when you take sex to the level that you're performing and doing duties and making it a chore and because I'm married I have to keep my husband's tummy full and his balls empty concept. If you're actually performing under that duties, you are way off base. And on the other side of that, on the male side, if you're out there conquering, you don't need to be getting married either.
Speaker 2:Right yeah.
Speaker 1:And don't get me wrong, Unless it's in a like like the swingers can be on top, Unless it's in a spiritually guided, directed energy Negotiation up front.
Speaker 2:In your relationship.
Speaker 1:Because here's the reality of it is even if you all have a spiritual connection and you both talk about it, and if you do it behind their back, it's not about the sex, it's not about the love.
Speaker 2:No, it's a deeper.
Speaker 1:It's about the energetic connection. Trust broke because you know like for you, the very first thing you said to me was if you're ever going to cheat, make sure I know about it beforehand and I'll go help you. Yeah, I mean that was the thing with me is.
Speaker 2:It wasn't that I got cheated on Right on, because I've always been, even in childhood, around many topics, very open to the 360 degree concept of anything, and sex was no different. I knew that I wanted to have a very open viewpoint about it, because it didn't make any sense to me to think about being in a situation that either a limited my partner from being able to explore that topic right, fully and wholly, but myself as well, correct, and uh, I, I did share that up front.
Speaker 2:I, I wanted you to know up front yeah, totally, and I had much more respect for it and the part about being air quote cheated on right was the fact that it was done behind your behind my back like I'm some kind of ignorant person who will never find out that doesn't have spirit guides that tell you yeah, exactly, yeah those are stories for another day because I literally had no idea, and the way they came about yeah, no, totally no, I get it, but anyway.
Speaker 1:So going back to it. So one is make sure within yourself you understand what it is that you're trying to do with sex.
Speaker 2:And what that definition is.
Speaker 1:What the definition is, because in reality is the sex is for two things, yeah Procreation and pleasure. If you're using it to manipulate somebody, if you're using it to do anything other than pleasure or procreation, then you're doing it for the completely the wrong reasons yeah, if it's performance based, if it's chore based, any of that.
Speaker 2:And another.
Speaker 1:Number two is a if you identify those things and you find out if you're doing it for the right reason or the wrong reason and you're actually satisfying yourself. As number two is is if you're using sex to fulfill a void in your life, if you're depressed, if you're, you know, if there's something that feels incomplete, and you're just out there like like. I had a friend of mine. He would man that dude. I don't know how many women he slept with, but it had to be hundreds that I hung out with Hundreds. And I asked him when I'm like, what are you trying to accomplish? One of these days you're going to. One of these days you're going to come across the wrong one.
Speaker 2:You know cause, most of the time he liked to go there was this one bar in frisco, texas, that he liked to go to. Yeah, because that's where all the married women went. That took the rings off before they came in.
Speaker 1:It was a little exclusive bar right and and he's not wanting like a committed interaction. No, he was a completely committed.
Speaker 2:No, I'm not saying he wasn't in one right, but the additional play toys. He wasn't wanting them to be committal.
Speaker 1:Right, and that's what I asked him Like what are you searching for? What are you doing? Yeah, you know why. I mean he would literally pick a girl up at the bar, go out to the car, come back in, drink some more, pick up another one and go in the car. I mean it was insane, of course. You know it was everybody about 30 seconds they were. You know it was everybody about 30 seconds. They were outside. But there was a point behind it and I was like what are you doing, man? And he said I don't know, I don't know why I do this right and so that he had a void.
Speaker 2:You know well, yeah, and that's the big red flag is if you don't know the why that's where I was going. It doesn't matter whether it's sex or drugs or alcohol or food Right, like if we just don't talk about even the negatives, if you're just eating to eat.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And you don't know why, or you know anything, anything kind of compulsive and obsessive, so to speak, and you don't know the why. Behind it, that is a big flag, it's a big red flag, and you don't know the why behind it.
Speaker 1:That is a big flag. It's a big red flag.
Speaker 2:There is more to look at within you, that there's obviously some place that's not fully fulfilled and you're trying to fill it with something.
Speaker 1:Right, so that you feel whole and you feel complete. You're just looking in the wrong place. So let me recap. Step one is identify within yourself societal beliefs.
Speaker 1:Right, what is it that you're looking for in sex? Number two is why? Yeah, why are you doing it, if you can identify that? And now number three it's very easy Own who you are.
Speaker 1:Yeah, if you are the person that has to be married to have sex, then own it Right, be proud of it. Yep, and because you know, when you live in this world, in this spiritual, metaphysical environment, we know one thing hey, what you think about you bring about, the energy you put out, you get back Right. And if you are that person and you put it out there to the universe that I am this person and you own it Right, I mean 100%, own it. Own it, then go be that person and put it out there and the universe will bring you the person, just like you. If you are that person that is doing it just because you like to, you like the pleasure of sex, then own it. Then own it and be open about it, be honest about it, just like you are.
Speaker 1:If you're that person that wants to wait till marriage, be honest and open about it. If you're that person that's this out there because you just like sex, you enjoy it, then then own it. You know, and then you know it doesn't matter who you are, what you are within that world, because what you're going to find out is what I'm teaching you right here in the sexual talk, which is kind of a passionate thing for me because it's been a subject in my life for many years. And you'll find out that this process that Jenny actually describes the process very well in her book, the scripted from within book, the process very well in her book, the Scripted From Within book it will marry from one subject in your life to the other and the main thing I can tell you is this is whatever decision that you make, make sure it's yours and make sure you own it.
Speaker 2:That's right. That's right. Make sure it is yours. That's the key thing.
Speaker 1:Clear all the negative about it, not somebody else's.
Speaker 2:Right, it's no different than. What kind of eggs do you like?
Speaker 1:right? Yeah, you're totally right. You like them scrambled, fried flip right upside down backwards it's no different behind your back, in front of your back, how you like them, it doesn't matter right, it does not matter.
Speaker 1:It does not, it does not matter and another part of this I think is very important is the last step I would say in anything is you have to make it okay. You have to make it okay within yourself to be who you are and own it and be relaxed about it. Who cares? I don't care, I have painted toenails. I could care less what you think of me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because essentially what that does is that will bring about your internal self-worth and worthiness Right.
Speaker 1:I'm not going to change for nobody.
Speaker 2:Whittle away the layers of the societal taught, parental taught beliefs around sexuality Yep, around sexuality and all the different things that it's entangled in. It can definitely whittle away at your self-worth. Yeah, totally, and bringing that back to a healthy place changes your perspective and how you move about your reality, absolutely.
Speaker 1:Totally. I 100% agree with you.
Speaker 2:It also does it just to bring in the scientific, because that's where we are, you know. It also does it on a chemistry level. There are certain chemicals that are produced and released within the body when you talk about sex, interact with sex.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:And all of that, and when someone like you gave the example, he's going out and doing this sex thing, the reason that it is still a viable answer is because, on a chemical level, there's adrenaline there's adrenaline and a dopamine and oxytocin drop in the body. That gives that temporary fulfillment what's that?
Speaker 1:a drop is a raise, right I, when I say drop into the body, release okay, at least I'll use that word, okay because you're right.
Speaker 2:Drop can mean many different things.
Speaker 1:They think your levels are gonna go down release within the body.
Speaker 2:That happens whether you're doing it um, here, here's the catch when you're doing it either with another human being that agrees to do it, or you're doing it with yourself.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that chemical which is okay to it is okay to do it, but doing it for the right reasons, right, um, because you know it, it still releases that chemical or those chemicals in the body, and that can be what you're reaching for, rather than the true, authentic finding, the, the feeling of the fact that it's a void right, and that can be a trip up point well, and also also part of that is those chemicals dropping into your system and, you know, raising those levels in your body naturally can become addictive it can and like that's where I was going with it he didn't know why he was doing it until I told him right, and so then what happens is there's actual neural pathways that get completed in the brain, which then is how habits are formed and
Speaker 2:so the brain says, okay, well, when you're feeling yucky, uh, let's go down this path and let's pop in easy to get on your phone porn, do a little masturbation and that's the quickest way to get what you're wanting. But the trick with that is it's not the true, authentic accountability solution to what you're looking for. It's a temporary thing and you have to explore that deeper on an aware level to find out what the true void is really about given its real name, I think.
Speaker 1:I think I want to make sure and clarify something. Okay, masturbation is about self-discovery. Of course, and it's okay to do that is okay to do. Now, if you are doing it for a different reason other than self-discovery, and understanding your body, because it is part of a natural growth process for everybody, and you should self-discover, because you can't satisfy anybody else, so you know how to satisfy yourself.
Speaker 2:I agree 100% everybody and you should self-discover, because you can't satisfy anybody else, so you know how to satisfy yourself, I agree a hundred percent and I didn't bring up it and a way to right, I just wanted to make sure I was taking the example that you gave with him, and I wanted to incorporate the fact of it doesn't matter whether you're doing it with human or doing it with yourself. That's right. If you're not clear on why you're doing it, then you are not addressing the true reason for the void that you're trying to fill.
Speaker 2:Even if it is a sex with another human being or sex with yourself, utilizing porn or whatever, it still is giving you a chemical release that's temporarily filling the void and stop and understand that there is a void, if there is a void, and fill that with the good stuff of uh self-worth and then go forth and masturbate. Or then go forth and have sex with who and however many you want.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Then you won't have that next level experience.
Speaker 1:Totally, totally agree.
Speaker 2:That's all I'm saying.
Speaker 1:Now this is getting long so we're going to have to cut it. So I'm going to give you a little teaser because I think next podcast or coming up in one of the next podcasts. So it's kind of I'm gonna give you a little teaser because I think next podcast or coming up in one of the next podcasts, we'll talk about individualized beliefs you bring into relationship and sex. We'll talk about that. That's what I think we I want to bring that up Now, we'll talk about it somewhere down the road. But. But I also want to talk about is hey, we got big, we got into banks coming up. We are going to be teaching the Power of Positive Thought School at the Holistic House in Holly Hill, florida.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Starting on October 5th. It's a 16-week course.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:If you want to join the course, it's $25 a session, or you can buy the whole session for it. Would be $400 if you paid for it outright, but if you pay for it upfront it's $25 a session. Or you can buy the whole session for um. It's would be $400 if you paid for it outright, but if you pay for it up front it's $360 for the complete course and that comes with the workbook and or not workbook. It's going to be a pamphlet, yeah, um, for not.
Speaker 2:Are you talking about like an actual, like three-fold pamphlet? Or are you going to actually put together a?
Speaker 1:uh, it's a well, it's packet, it's a packet.
Speaker 2:A packet, that's a better word for it packet of information and uh graphs and different things yeah, so the the the course starts on oh it's raining it's raining, sorry, editor well, I guess that's our cue, huh but hey, listen, are you gonna put a link on the website about it? Yes, I'm gonna have our addition to maybe, how to contact holistic house to sign up or I had that right there actually hang on a second. But how are you gonna get it to the listeners?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know you need to call the Holistic House because you'll be doing all the reservations and everything over the phone there and I'll give you that number here in a second. Hang on a second.
Speaker 2:Can you just put it in the transcript down below.
Speaker 1:I'll put it in the description down below for everybody to see. And uh, it's the phone number you can call and subscribe to that. And hey, and, if you're ever around florida, daytona beach, holly hill area, make sure you swing by and and go to holistic house. It is an awesome place yeah, it's really got some good, good vibes and if you need a cat, they also are an adoption center for cats. Cats there, too, got a lot of good vibes, and if you need a cat, they also are an adoption center for cats Absolutely Cats.
Speaker 1:There too, Got a lot of good vibes. Got a lot of good people there.
Speaker 2:It is, it's really. She is just really a phenomenal individual.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And has just a really really good energy about her. Yeah, she's very pleasant to be around.
Speaker 1:Considering what she went through in the beginning and the opening of that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, where beginning?
Speaker 1:and the opening of that man where she's in a great place. You know that's her story to tell. But you know, and that's that is spelled. A lot of people don't know how to spell holistic. I have discovered it's.
Speaker 2:It's h-o-l, not w-h-o-l, it's h-o-l-i-s I laugh because I would have been willing to spell it w-h-o-l.
Speaker 1:yeah, it is a holistic like it's supposed to be spelled house in Holly Hill, florida, and that starts on October 5th.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And then Jenny and I will be available.
Speaker 2:Which is a Friday.
Speaker 1:Which is a? It's a Friday night.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're going to do it on Fridays from 5 to 7.
Speaker 1:Yeah, from 5 to 7. Which we may talk to her about doing it from 6 to 8 because you people got to have time to get off work, you know, oh, yeah to eight because you people got to have time to get off work. You know, oh yeah, good thinking um, but we'll see what happens. I'll talk to her and also, uh, I'll be doing order readings there. You can also call. I'll leave that phone number will all be in the uh description down below. I'm available for doing or readings at the holistic house anytime just call and schedule it.
Speaker 1:She'll call. Let you know she knows my availability and you're going to be doing sessions as well.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I'll be providing my services of, you know, helping people identify beliefs that are no longer a fit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, belief sessions.
Speaker 2:Teaching them and working with them on how to rewrite those, re-script them, toss them in the trash. Rewrite those, rescript them, toss them in the trash.
Speaker 1:And then I also will be doing hypnosis sessions as well, because she's got a really cool hypnosis area that I can do hypnosis sessions, Some people.
Speaker 2:you can get there a little quicker and circumvent the human by going into hypnosis. It works, for some it doesn't. Some can sit in the chair and we can get through it that way, but it's just another moment modality and this ain't a normal hypnosis session.
Speaker 1:This is. This is not the one where you see the sign out on highway that says stop smoking today and then you walk into hypnosis no, that's not what you can.
Speaker 2:Don't get me wrong you can, you can stop smoking but traditionally I don't I don't do those very often. We actually dig around and, uh, you know beliefs and uh, I usually will bring in your higher self and any of your non-physical guides or council, council members, and we go about it that way totally.
Speaker 1:Yeah, get it. But hey, guys uh got all lot of good stuff going got some stuff going on and check out the website and the store. The website is wwwthemerchcentersorg. The store is the salty tarotmyshopifycom yeah and because she is the salty tarot, because she tells it how it is if you don't believe me?
Speaker 2:go set one of her belief sessions right because, but I do it with all the love in the world.
Speaker 1:Yeah, don't worry, she's not going to leave you out there without direction. She's going to tell it to you how it is, and then you're going to cry for a minute or you're going to laugh, whatever it is that she tells you, and then you're going to work together through a process. That's how she operates.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you work together and the beauty of it is sugar coating really for the damn donuts yeah, I mean, why use all the extra words? Just to get to the point there, and it certainly doesn't get you there in the quickest way that's correct.
Speaker 1:And uh, look us up on facebook and instagram and tiktok, we're there all the way around. This is all getting interlinked now that we are full time doing this yeah it is uh slowly all coming together I think it's going very quickly.
Speaker 2:honestly, it's gaining momentum and we're getting it all out there.
Speaker 1:It's amazing, yep. So her book is on Amazon and KDP, scripted From Within. You can pick it up. It is just like this for $15.89 on Amazon and you get it on KDP for $9.99. My book, sales Energy Methods, is in the same place. You can find it as well for the same prices. Oh, actually no, my paperback is $14.99. And pay attention, we've got Granny Grimmar's coming out. We have Unlocked the 45-day unlock challenge.
Speaker 2:Yep, I started a new book about how to help the empathic community. Uh-oh, as I am one who's a big feeler of life.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:I started that.
Speaker 1:Good, awesome so.
Speaker 2:I got that coming.
Speaker 1:Hey, don't forget to like, follow, share, leave us a comment and if there's anything you want to talk about, either comment it on one of the videos or one of the podcasts, send us an email, go to the website and you can subscribe to our newsletter there and our blogs and if you want to come and be a guest on the show yes, yes, just let us know.
Speaker 2:We can do that via phone. We can do it actually live.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:We can take calls and you can be a guest on the show. Yeah, We'd love to hear what other people have to say and their impact on topics that they bring or that we bring. And don't forget to ring that bell.
Speaker 1:Hey, you all have an awesome day.
Speaker 2:Yeah, love ya, we'll see you next time.
